What to Do When the Change You Desire is Intimidating

Often when we’re feeling stuck, we find that WE are what’s holding us back. Not the world, not someone else, not something in our industry or our clients – it’s just us. Humbling, isn’t it?

It can also be really empowering though, because when you’re willing to wonder into what fears are holding you back, and be brave enough to call support, there is a massive opportunity to create the change you want to see. I know because I’ve done it over and over again!

The first step is simply to acknowledge what change you want to create, and then be compassionate with yourself as you explore what support on this path might look like. In this video I share a little about my process for facing an intimidating change:

We’ll always gravitate towards what we know. This is what keeps us in our comfort zone.

- @WilloLovesYou (Click to Tweet)

This video illustrates one instance of where I am inviting change in this year, but because I choose to live consciously in all areas of my life, I’m always on the lookout for different fears or beliefs that are sneakily holding me back.

For example, in addition to my ongoing commitment to feel more connected and stronger in my physical body, I have some super exciting things lined up for my online coaching programs, I am growing my teams in new ways, and I’m developing all new retreats and events for visionary business leaders. Exciting! Thing is, while I’m very confident in my coaching work, I’m always reaching new heights in my business. Which means there are always going to be new areas that feel super intimidating.

So I have two options:

  • I can continue to spin in circles, struggling to ‘figure it out’ as I go for it on my own, trying to collect any free, sporadic or unreliable support… which ultimately may distract or derail me leaving me even further behind. (Sure, I’d most likely get somewhere, but not without some seriously tough days, and probably not getting anywhere as close to where I could be if I’d just called in some awesome support in the first place!)
  • I can boldly state my desires, face my fears head on, embrace my vulnerability by admitting I feel a little over my head, and call in the support that I know will help support me on the path to getting where I want to go. Not only will this help me achieve the results I want faster and more efficiently and with less anguish, but what a relief I don’t have to do it alone!

It’s funny to detail out those hypotheticals, because I have totally done the latter many times to no avail. Oy… so much time wasted, suffering endured, and so much money left on the table!

Here’s what my support team looks like right now:

  • For my health:
    • I’ve joined a gym with an awesome amount of classes & beautiful facilities just down the street.
    • I’ve set up gym dates with friends who also go there, and took advantage of my complimentary session to learn more about the equipment available.
    • I’ve found a personal trainer who is exactly what I was looking for! He’s way more affordable than you’d think, and the best part is I meet with him over video, so I can still receive his support while I’m traveling!
    • I’ve stopped drinking alcohol and coffee (this alone has me feeling UNSTOPPABLE – so clear & focused!)
    • I’m meditating and writing regularly and getting 7-8 hours sleep every night
  • For my business:
    • I have invested in and am receiving the support of experienced business coaches
    • I’ve hired an amazing team – copywriters, designers, web/tech support, assistants and a bookkeeper
    • I’m attending conferences (two in the next month alone) for continued focus, learning and mindset expansion
    • I’m surrounding myself with high-level, conscious entrepreneurs who are committed to getting out of their own way and creating the lives and businesses of their dreams, too!
    • I am a part of a supportive and long-running mastermind
    • I’m actively a part of a few key groups that connect me with resources and insights that are relative to my work
    • I listen to audiobooks relevant to my personal, spiritual and professional growth
    • I utilize a daily journaling practice that keeps me aligned with my goals

So, now it’s your turn… are you ready to stretch yourself and grow this year? Are you ready to face the fears that have stopped you from achieving the health or success you know is possible?  

If you are singing a resounding YES, then you may feel relieved to hear that it’s perfectly normal to feel vulnerable when you’re stepping into unknown territory. You are not alone in this, I promise! Feeling scared or worried isn’t ‘a sign’ that you’re doing the wrong thing – it’s a natural reaction to something you don’t feel sure about. It’s like when you were young and you were so shaky when learning to ride a bike. Or finding your ‘sea legs’ when you first started learning to swim. It’s only with experience that you can start doing these things without having to think about every little movement and having your life flash before your eyes, trying to convince you to stop everything and go back. Oh, our lizard brains can be so convincing!

Stepping out of your comfort zone

When you’re ready to face what’s not working and start taking the steps to make it happen, it can be incredible to realize how fast we’re met with feeling super scared and vulnerable. This can come in the form of feeling confused, overwhelmed, completely frozen or even really mad!

Same thing can be said for when things start going really well, actually. This is called the Upper Limit Problem (ULP!), coined by my awesome mentors Gay and Katie Hendricks and explained in Gay’s best-selling book, The Big Leap (one of my favs!). We experience an ULP when we sabotage ourselves before it gets too good. God forbid we won’t be able to handle all that abundant expansion!

The good news is, if you stick with it – this is why support & accountability helps! – and you get through some of the initial discomfort, you begin to feel incredibly empowered and renewed with a whole new sense of embodied confidence beyond what you could have ever imagined is possible!

What support do you want to call in?

Think of what area(s) you are desiring change in your life right now. Now paint the picture for what would feel really good to support you on this path.

Warning: Don’t think about how “you’ll never be able to find the right person,” or how “you’ve tried it before and it didn’t work.” That voice is NOT supporting yourself… that’s the lizard/fear brain talking!

Instead, lovingly listen to the call within you that is desiring the change. Name it and CHOOSE – right here and now – to cultivate and call in the support you want! You. Can. Do. This!

It’s never too late. There is only this moment, right here and now. Name it and call it in!

As always, I’m rooting for you, and am here to support you in taking your business to the next level. After all… you thriving, financially and otherwise, is the greatest gift you can give to the world! Make it a great 2017, my friend.

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