Today, looking in the mirror, splashing cool water on my face, I thought how everything really comes down to clarity and intention.
This summer I’ve been peeling back the layers. Determined to see, like a tired child propping eyelids open with toothpicks to stay awake. But there’s no sleepiness in my hunt. Instead I’m like a voracious beast, hungry for the truth.
Digging and peeling.
Digging and peeling.
Shedding light. Holding what I find up to the sun; inspecting it from all sides. Taking notes.
Taking witness. Seeing what is true. Challenging it and being willing to scrounge around my own dark shadows. Finding shame, embarrassment, inability, weakness… but seeing it clearly for what it is, without judgment.
This allows it to shift and transform, until it’s simply one version of truth, sitting in my hand right here, right now… and it has every permission to change and morph with its newfound freedom.
Intention creates movement.
Intention creates focus.
Intention keeps the clarity honest.
It’s the inspector or point guard that says, “Hey, just what is it that you’re doing now, and is it getting you where you want to go?” “Do you remember the intentions you set? Did you even set them at all?”
There’s this 10-Q project I did last year, and I’m doing it again now. It’s 10 days, 10 questions – and it emails you the answers a year later.
One of the questions is about what regrets I have had about the last year, or what I would’ve done differently. And, interestingly enough, what has been racing through my mind ever since is that I haven’t set clear enough goals. Didn’t plan. I didn’t set my intentions clear enough.
I mean, granted, I’ve been exploring. And this year there has been so much transformation and discovery. But there is power in having clarity and bold intention.
So I’m here now, seeing clearly where I have been and where I am. And I’m getting – on a whole new level – that I need to take that same verve and hunger for clarity, and get fierce about setting intentions and goals.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
I wrote this piece during Wild Writing; a writing group I have been a part of every Monday (minus a few weeks here & there) since September 2012. Every week Laurie reads us a poem, and we get a few lines to jump off from… and then we fast & furiously free-write.
This one was inspired by “Last Swim of the Summer” by Maya Stein.